[ He'll place his faith in Katsura, too. He may find it hard to trust the other man just yet... but trust and faith are subtly different things, and faith he finds he has plenty of, ultimately.
He truly believes in Katsura.
If he could change one person, and divert one course... he could feel like he really, somehow, made a difference in Cerealia. Whatever happens from here on out, this, this moment, will always be something he looks back on as a moment he did something right. He feels a familiar stirring in his heart, a kind of warmth, and it makes his lungs swell raggedly. Trust, and bonds, and faith... this is at the very core of what those things mean.
The person that Katsura could become... isn't that person right in front of him? ]
[ Zura finds himself stiffening his muscles at Yu's words. It was a childish response on Katsura's part, but he hated being proven wrong. The samurai carried a bitterness on his shoulders that ached everytime he looked out of the window and saw space ships flying in the air over what was once a quaint Japan with simplistic thinking.
He wanted to lead them into a new era that was like the old. A new dawn that they all had seen before. Here, he wanted to do that here.
It was selfish. ]
This entire time.. I focused on myself in a situation. I had confidence in myself that I could lead others as I do back home. [ Did you know he is a general and a leader back home, Yu? ]
That is what has gotten me in trouble. [ Admitting defeat so easily? It seems that way, but Katsura has a lot on his mind. If he hadn't been so reckless, he would have both of his legs still. ]
Instead of relying my burden on others, I wanted to take everyone's burden upon me. But that is not how allies work, is it?
[ He can see it. Katsura being a leader... for how ridiculous the other man can be, his seriousness, that quiet readiness, like a waiting wolf ready to snap its jaws... speaks to someone who has known much fighting.
Katsura is a person of surprising depth. But Yu has seen that bit by bit since the day they met on the roof, his very first day in Cerealia. ]
I was a leader back home, too. But the only reason I can be a leader is because I have the support of my friends. I couldn't do it without their strength. They count on me to lead them, but I rely on them to back me up.
Let us be your strength. You don't have to be alone anymore.
[ The words that are on his screen pull at his heart, as strong as it is, it carried the scars and ache of things that he was certain would never heal. Katsura isn't a pessimist, but he also isn't an optimistic person either.
This wasn't Edo. This wasn't the Jouishishi faction that he was accustomed to leading. This wasn't revolutionizing Japan. This was something entirely different, and it was so obvious to anyone else, but right now, Katsura is really noticing the difference and how he should approach this at a different angle — maybe Yu's angle.
Cast the hatred aside. Ignore the bitterness. Think clearly. Believe it or not, he was a planner and prepared individual. But he had let his feelings get the best of him here and it had only taken him until this moment to actually snap. ]
How can I support my friends when I cannot even support myself on my feet anymore? How can I lead anyone when I cannot walk ahead of them? [ planting explosives and detonating them when the moment was right was all he could do. That is all he could think to do in his current state back at the carnival. There was no stance for him to hold his sword in. There was no way he could run, or jump, or fight. Not like this.
And yet, Yu is trusting and believing in him... when all he is feeling right now is worthlessness. ]
Why are you asking me that? Aren't you Katsura? You know more about this city, and about CERES, than I do. I'll need you, going forward. I doubt any of us will be able to do it without your help.
[ And right now, he doesn't even know the extent of Katsura's activities. It won't be until tomorrow that he finds out about the raid. At which point he'll become agitated all over again... until he remembers all of this, and remembers I'm tired.
This is a person who needs him. And this is a person he needs. ]
[ Never had he felt such an abundance of trust flowing from this person during his stay here in Tellus. People have claimed to trust him, accept him, and ally with him to figure out the puzzles and mysteries of this place, but..
Yu is genuinely accepting him— inviting him in such a warm way. For once, he feels like he is a valuable and desired person on this mission they are destined to embark on. Not like his other friends and allies didn't make him feel important, but Yu is basically saying he needs him.
He cannot do this without him. How could Katsura ever deny something like this? They both have a common goal, ultimately, but are coming about at different angles. Maybe it's time to come at the same angle. Maybe that way, bad things won't happen so easily.
Maybe that way, he won't feel like a failure.
Yu doesn't see the warm but small smile that grows on his face— nor the tears pooling in his eyes, and he is thankful for that. For somebody who seemed so crazy— almost maniacal— he certainly had a sensitive soul; a sensitive, old soul that has been through far too much in his life. It was time for him to humble himself, here, and share his burden more than ever before. ]
Instead of running in different directions.. Let's find the right path we can take.
Together.
[ praise jesus hallelujah. His next scheme was to just fuck all and blow up the entire Research Tower. ]
With our differences, I was not sure. Most of the time it is difficult. [ —for him to get friends. He doesn't need to say that, though. It sounds pathetic. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
I'll do my best not to let you down, Katsura-san.
[ He'll place his faith in Katsura, too. He may find it hard to trust the other man just yet... but trust and faith are subtly different things, and faith he finds he has plenty of, ultimately.
He truly believes in Katsura.
If he could change one person, and divert one course... he could feel like he really, somehow, made a difference in Cerealia. Whatever happens from here on out, this, this moment, will always be something he looks back on as a moment he did something right. He feels a familiar stirring in his heart, a kind of warmth, and it makes his lungs swell raggedly. Trust, and bonds, and faith... this is at the very core of what those things mean.
The person that Katsura could become... isn't that person right in front of him? ]
no subject
He wanted to lead them into a new era that was like the old. A new dawn that they all had seen before.
Here, he wanted to do that here.
It was selfish. ]
This entire time.. I focused on myself in a situation. I had confidence in myself that I could lead others as I do back home.
[ Did you know he is a general and a leader back home, Yu? ]
That is what has gotten me in trouble.
[ Admitting defeat so easily? It seems that way, but Katsura has a lot on his mind.
If he hadn't been so reckless, he would have both of his legs still. ]
Instead of relying my burden on others, I wanted to take everyone's burden upon me.
But that is not how allies work, is it?
no subject
Katsura is a person of surprising depth. But Yu has seen that bit by bit since the day they met on the roof, his very first day in Cerealia. ]
I was a leader back home, too. But the only reason I can be a leader is because I have the support of my friends. I couldn't do it without their strength. They count on me to lead them, but I rely on them to back me up.
Let us be your strength. You don't have to be alone anymore.
no subject
This wasn't Edo. This wasn't the Jouishishi faction that he was accustomed to leading. This wasn't revolutionizing Japan.
This was something entirely different, and it was so obvious to anyone else, but right now, Katsura is really noticing the difference and how he should approach this at a different angle — maybe Yu's angle.
Cast the hatred aside. Ignore the bitterness. Think clearly. Believe it or not, he was a planner and prepared individual. But he had let his feelings get the best of him here and it had only taken him until this moment to actually snap. ]
How can I support my friends when I cannot even support myself on my feet anymore?
How can I lead anyone when I cannot walk ahead of them?
[ planting explosives and detonating them when the moment was right was all he could do. That is all he could think to do in his current state back at the carnival.
There was no stance for him to hold his sword in. There was no way he could run, or jump, or fight. Not like this.
And yet, Yu is trusting and believing in him... when all he is feeling right now is worthlessness. ]
no subject
[ And right now, he doesn't even know the extent of Katsura's activities. It won't be until tomorrow that he finds out about the raid. At which point he'll become agitated all over again... until he remembers all of this, and remembers I'm tired.
This is a person who needs him. And this is a person he needs. ]
There's more than one way to lead.
no subject
Yu is genuinely accepting him— inviting him in such a warm way. For once, he feels like he is a valuable and desired person on this mission they are destined to embark on. Not like his other friends and allies didn't make him feel important, but Yu is basically saying he needs him.
He cannot do this without him.
How could Katsura ever deny something like this? They both have a common goal, ultimately, but are coming about at different angles.
Maybe it's time to come at the same angle. Maybe that way, bad things won't happen so easily.
Maybe that way, he won't feel like a failure.
Yu doesn't see the warm but small smile that grows on his face— nor the tears pooling in his eyes, and he is thankful for that. For somebody who seemed so crazy— almost maniacal— he certainly had a sensitive soul; a sensitive, old soul that has been through far too much in his life. It was time for him to humble himself, here, and share his burden more than ever before. ]
Instead of running in different directions..
Let's find the right path we can take.
Together.
[ praise jesus hallelujah. His next scheme was to just fuck all and blow up the entire Research Tower. ]
no subject
Thank you.
[ For talking to him, for listening to him... he's not sure. But it feels right to say.
His chest feels warm. Thou art I... Isn't that right? ]
no subject
We're friends now?
[ more like.. you're openly acknowledging we're friends.
You were considered his friend from the start. ]
no subject
[ He feels the same, after all. But it's different to say it aloud, especially at a moment like this. ]
no subject
Most of the time it is difficult.
[ —for him to get friends. He doesn't need to say that, though. It sounds pathetic. ]